At least Nige is a good cook.

-Perros-

HA!!

There was a particularly good sketch on Dead Ringers a couple of years ago, featuring a padded Jan Ravens as dear old Nige. “Now for this recipe you need two phoenix eggs, but if you can’t get hold of phoenix then you can use dodo…”

I don’t think I’ll bother with Anjum or Rachel though. Seems like overegging the pudding.

She also, horror of horrors, has been known to rock a scrunchie on TV. Good lord woman! Are you an 8 year old girl with a penchant for ponies? I’m all for food hygeine, but surely a crewcut is preferable?

Depressingly untrue. You have to go to the right school, by which I actually mean the right public school. The Sutton Trust Report (20/09/07) on University Admissions (I’ve set it as my website should you have curious reading habits) dumps this handy statement into its Foreword:

“a young person’s chance of reaching one of these highly selective universities – and particularly Oxbridge – is an order of magnitude higher for those who attend one of a handful of the country’s elite fee-paying schools.”

Although the ‘Key findings’ on page 6 about Oxbridge admissions is worth gasping at a bit to give a range of figures to back this ambiguous generalisation up. Indeed, a combination of Wikipedia and that same report would indicate that Nigella’s path from Westminster School to Oxford was the easiest way in – 31.4% Westminster graduates have gone on to Oxbridge in the last 5 years.

As usual, I digress and miss the point rather wildly.

To be honest though, I’d have thought it was a good thing that someone who clearly missed size 0 (that’s a zero, blame Lynn’s font choice) by a good distance is touted as a bit of a sex symbol – although the contradiction of then blurring bits of her out isn’t one I’ve encountered having never watched the pearl-toothed smarm beast from, err… Greater London somewhere.

But are female TV chefs really any worse than male ones? Jamie Oliver’s career only really took off because he was a scruffy scamp who middle aged women sort of fancied until his “man of the people” styling helped him rise further. Ramsay basically swears a lot; Fearnley-Whittingstall is rather limp and dithering (upper-middle class farming gentleman type) and the Ready Steady Cook stable are all largely interchangeable as loosely good-looking early-middle aged chaps who keep up with Ainsley Harriott’s appalling jokes.

Sadly I can see why Ramsay’s gruff, tyranical, foul-mouthed stylings have made him such a hit in a sea of mediocrity. And good friends with that paragon of good-natured egalitarianism: Chris Moyles.

P.S. Nice bit of writing though – and Jones will happily tell you that I will always choose playing devil’s advocate over simpering praise of almost any statement of opinion.

Nigella Lawson is on TV because she is mans kitchen dream. She has lots of people who make her that for the camera (especially the poor soul who blurs/edits out her ghetto booty). To me, she is an annoying and vacuous attention seeking prawnstar.

The butter loving jezebel makes my blood boil for many reasons. Number one being that anyone who drones on about how having chub is ‘normal’ and is nothing to be ashamed of should NOT blur/exclude wobbly bits from their viewing audience. I do it with my facebook photos, I know the game.

Put your ever-groaning-over-a-chocolate-bowl-tits away and get your butt out Nigella, then I will have respect for you. Stop trying to tell sell the notion that by acting like a hussy the world loves skinny less! End of.

P.s. Love your work Lynnels! xx